Unemployed 32-year-old, Jennifer Reynolds, announced to her friends this Sunday over bottomless mimosas that she was feeling “pretty confident” about the resume she just submitted to a local software development company.
Reynolds’ has seen no reason to get a new gmail email address since creating “420PartyGurl69@gmail.com” in 2007. This is suprising, considering the fact that new email addresses are completely free, they take less than 30 seconds to create, and there is literally no limit to the amount of email addresses a person can simultaneously posses.
“I know it’s a bit early to be celebrating, considering that they haven’t called me for a phone interview yet, but I just felt really good about clicking the submit button on this one, cheers guys!” exclaimed Reynolds’ to her brunch companions.
Amongst Reynolds’ spotty academic and career accomplishments, she lists “good listener,” “competent at microsoft powerpoint,” and “Reiki healing” in her special skills section.
“So I don’t exactly have 3-5 years experience in computer programing, or know Java, or C ++, but I did drink a lot of “Java” in college and got almost all C pluses in school, am I right?” Reynolds joked, the light in her friends’ eyes dying just a little bit more.
Reynolds’ friends, who’s email addresses were a simple combination of their first and last names with underscores or periods, and containing numbers not associated with illegal substances or sexual acts, seemed hopeful for McAdams.
“She’s going to be fine,” McAdams’ friend Amanda (Amanda.Randolph86@gmail.com) remarked while avoiding all eye contact, “just fine.”