Poll: 93% of U.S. Representatives Unsure if Women can be Considered “People”

Washington D.C.

In an anonymous survey conducted by the PEW Research Center, 435 members of the United States House of Representatives were asked if women can be considered people.

52% of representatives cited the following Merriam-Webster Definition of “people.”

 “pluralhuman beings making up a group or assembly or linked by a common interest”

This 52% determined that since women are interested in things like makeup and autonomy over their own bodies, and men are interested in sports and objectifying women, that men and women don’t actually have common interests. Therefore, they couldn’t be sure if women can really be considered people.

28% offered that they knew a rapist who was close to them, and that they sympathized with the trauma that this rapist must feel at coming to the terms with the idea that women could be considered people. Citing this as their reason, they chose to remain on the fence.

13% of representatives surveyed reported that they couldn’t be sure that women were not incredibly sophisticated life-like robots like the ones featured in the Michael Crichton novel and popular HBO television series “Westworld.”

In the comments section, one representative elaborated:

“In Westworld, park guests are transported to a fantasy land where the guests in the park can do absolutely anything they want to women with entirely no repercussions or accountability. If  women in the real world weren’t robots, how do you explain the Brock Turner case, the election of Donald Trump, the attempt to confirm Brett Kavanaugh? Not to mention the absolute hell our society puts female sexual assault victims through when they work up the courage to come forward. This is the only thing that makes sense to me. Maybe we should have the FBI investigate.”

The 7% that voted yes, were all women. Yeah, okay. Sounds like the answer a highly sophisticated robot would give if you ask me.