Alabama Women Rejoice Gaining HOV Lane Rights with Six-Week Zygotes

Alabama

Women won big yesterday in Alabama. After hundreds of years of oppression, sexism and lack of autonomy, things are finally turning around for uterus owners. Why? Because Alabama just ruled that a six-week old zygote is a person with rights. This means one big benefit for zygote moms.

The carpool lane, the High Occupancy Vehicle lane, the fast track to anywhere you could want to go by car, is now open season for any woman with a uterus and a zygote to go with it.

Women can rest assured that whether they are driving into work early to put in those extra hours for a promotion that will just be given to Dave anyway because he seems more “serious” and won’t need to take maternity leave, that they can get there quickly without sitting in traffic!

Or when Tina needs to drive to Costco to buy concealer and six family-sized packs of thin sliced honey glazed turkey to pack school lunches for her six children while her physically and verbally abusive husband nurses yet another hangover he’s having from a Wednesday night drinking bender. She can breathe easy knowing she’s not violating any traffic laws taking that HOV lane!

Or even when Angela is driving to her 4 am shift at Taco Bell where she makes $7.25 an hour because she was drugged and raped at a party when she was 15 and had to drop out of high school to raise her baby, she won’t have to worry about traffic either!

Wow, what a great time it is to be a woman in Alabama!

 

 

 

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