Loser Dad With No Estranged Children Had Zero Chance to Relax on Father’s Day

Last Sunday, families came together to celebrate dads across the nation. Fathers and their families enjoyed backyard barbecues, large family get-togethers, baseball games, and picnics to celebrate their favorite patriarchs.

But one local man, Edward Jennings, reports that he he would’ve traded it all just to have some relaxing peace and quiet.

“Look, I love my family to death, but sometimes I just wish I could be spending my time sitting alone in a dark, scantly-decorated, one-bedroom efficiency apartment,” sighed Jennings.

Jennings continued “I know, the grass is always going to be greener. My divorced friends wish that they had the love and respect of one or more of their children, but I just wish I could light up a joint and rewatch the Lord of the Rings Trilogy without my kids trying to give me a bunch of thoughtful homemade presents.”

Jennings began rattling off a list of his numerous friends with strained filial relationships.

“Dave didn’t have to drive a half-hour to be filled with pride as he watched his son make two base hits at his tournament game on Father’s Day. Denise took the kids to her parents’ house and that lucky bastard got to spend the whole day binge drinking alone at Outback Steakhouse.”

Jennings went on.

“And Jack’s kid, Randal, won’t even talk to him. Jack told me he didn’t even get so much as a Happy Father’s day text from him this year. Can you believe that? A whole day where your kids refuse to talk to you. Can you even imagine?”

Jennings started thoughtfully at the ground and then looked up.

“As a parent, you’re always going to question yourself, but sometimes I really wonder where I went wrong with these kids.”








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