Hey new moms, if you’re feeling a fresh new wave of postpartum depression after obsessively binge watching The Mandalorian on Disney Plus and falling into an unhealthy and emotionally-taxing obsession with Baby Yoda, you are not alone.
Step One: Moms, you’re going to need to come to terms with the fact that your baby is not and never will be as devastatingly and heartbreakingly adorable as Baby Yoda.
Yes, he giggles while gazing into your eyes and wraps his little fingers around one of yours, but does he make cute little cooing noises after recklessly and adorably toying with Razor Crest flight controls?
Is he a surprisingly captivating combination of total helplessness and insurmountable strength and power? Also no? Yikes, strike two! I hate to also bring this up, but your baby will never be able to adorably outstretch its tiny fingers and heal you if and when you become mortally wounded in battle. We know, bummer!
It’s okay, we are all going to be fine!
Step Two: Remember that it is socially acceptable for you to dress your baby up as Baby Yoda in public one day per year. Whether or not you put your baby in that same costume everyday in the comfort of your own home is completely up to you and the discretion of social services. We won’t judge, but we will come over and take pictures! So cute!
Step Three: Consider that we don’t know what the future holds for Baby Yoda, will he ever grow up into a little asshole and call Din Djarin a fucking bitch to his face in front of all of his other Yoda friends? Probably not, but it could happen in season two (I really don’t think lil’ Baby Yoda would ever do something like that, but you never know!).
My point is that this exchange will 99.9% happen with your human son. But you will love him anyway (for some reason!). And him calling you a bitch in 16 years will be almost as painful as watching a Stormtrooper scoop up a distressed and wide-eyed lil’ helpless Baby Yoda…almost.
I said you could still love your son, I didn’t say you had to love him more than Baby Yoda. Because that would be impossible.