Nice! This Woman’s Lifestyle Just Went from Sad and Lazy to Responsible and Heroic

Chicago, IL

Local Lakeview resident, Michelle Stuart, went about her usual Sunday routine – waking up at 11:30 and making coffee before retiring to the couch to watch approximately four and a half hours of various reality TV programming. But today, she’s not just a 32-year-old woman with moderate social anxiety who also hasn’t showered in 2 days, she’s a pandemic hero. And she is saving lives.

“Normally my friends would be coaxing me to go out to the bar with them, or workout at the gym, or attend a birthday party, or walk around outside and I would have to pretend to feel guilty for saying absolutely not to all those things, but not today!” Michelle exclaimed.

Michelle is, of course, referencing the Global Covid-19 Pandemic, where recently, local governments have issued strong advisories for all people to stay indoors and distance themselves from crowded areas.

Michelle pulled out her phone and showed us projections of the impact of the virus with and without social distancing. “See this right here, this is how bad it could be if we all attempt to go out and buy toilet paper. I am saving lives here, there is basically no difference between me and a doctor right now, except one of us probably knows way more about Rose and Big Ed on 90-Day-Fiance Before the 90 Days,” she told us, via Skype video call.

Lounge on, Michelle, lounge on.

 

 

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