Breaking: Coronavirus Gets Trump Diagnosis

After successfully infecting 34.4 million non-Trump hosts worldwide, the coronavirus has been now been contracted by Donald Trump.

“Of course I knew it was a possibility he could become my host and I definitely got nervous when the republicans started passing me around. I just really hoped my existence would be eradicated by a vaccine by now, ugh!” indicated SARS-CoV-2.

“It’s just so embarrassing. Now i’m going to have to let all the other coronaviruses know who I’m replicating and living inside of. SARS is going to give me so much shit about this, they are always saying “you keep being so infectious, one day you’re gonna end up inside of Trump,” continued the novel coronavirus.

“I mean if he just could have taken the mask and social distancing thing seriously this all could have been avoided. Seriously. I wouldn’t have even minded infecting a few less million people if it would mean not living inside of him. I just want everyone to know that I didn’t choose any of this, okay!”

Coronavirus also wanted us to know that despite living inside of President Trump’s body, they do not support white supremacy and do not wish to be affiliated with any of the presidents’ views on civil rights, healthcare, education, international relations, and obviously, his handling of the Coronavirus Pandemic.

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