My Phone Knows Me Better Than Anyone Else

By Michelle Seeley

In a blinding moment of clarity, Jennifer Rose came to the conclusion the night before Thanksgiving that her phone had a much better understanding of Jennifer’s needs, desires, and handbag style preferences than her own partner of 12 years. 

 
Scrolling through Facebook in an frenzied attempt to take her mind off the daunting task of setting up three separate zoom gatherings on Thanksgiving, Jennifer noted not one but two separate ads for high quality handbags in a perfectly colorblocked satchel style, as well as a pair of side button mary jane shoes in a gorgeous burgundy that could be worn for work OR a night out at the type of bar which has a small stage for live music.  Jennifer recalled that earlier in the week her partner Tom wanted to know what kind of role playing video games she might like him to procure on Black Friday, and though she responded instead with a desire to get some new DVD box sets, her alternative suggestion seemed to fall on deaf ears.  The next day, her Instagram feed informed her that the entire series of The Good Place was on sale at Best Buy and would ship in plenty of time for Christmas.  

<p value="<amp-fit-text layout="fixed-height" min-font-size="6" max-font-size="72" height="80"><br>Trying out this new theory, Jennifer had a one sided conversation while fixing Thanksgiving dinner involving room design theory, tiny homes, retro styled kitchen appliances, and paint colors.  While Tom appeared to remember none of the fresh ideas she proposed for a fast and cheap home remodel, her phone came through in spades.  By Black Friday it had not only thrown down banner ads for two of the closest Home Depot locations noting extended holiday hours and big big savings on most brand name fixtures, it also threw in some lovely ads on Facebook for adorable DIY miniature rooms. 
Trying out this new theory, Jennifer had a one sided conversation while fixing Thanksgiving dinner involving room design theory, tiny homes, retro styled kitchen appliances, and paint colors.  While Tom appeared to remember none of the fresh ideas she proposed for a fast and cheap home remodel, her phone came through in spades.  By Black Friday it had not only thrown down banner ads for two of the closest Home Depot locations noting extended holiday hours and big big savings on most brand name fixtures, it also threw in some lovely ads on Facebook for adorable DIY miniature rooms. 

  
As of press time, emailed shipping notifications revealed that Tom had purchased none of the items on Jennifer’s holiday wish list, while at least six of eight items Jennifer had casually brought up in conversation were in heavy ad rotation on all social media platforms as well as her personalized Google newsfeed.