If Sam Caldwell, 31, had the energy to login to her Chase mobile banking app, she might notice that her credit card balance is currently
Author: theblendweekly
Chicago satirical news source publishing new content weekly.
My Phone Knows Me Better Than Anyone Else
By Michelle Seeley In a blinding moment of clarity, Jennifer Rose came to the conclusion the night before Thanksgiving that her phone had a much
75 Million Americans Unclench Buttholes
Joe Biden is the President-Elect of the United States of America.
Dr. Conley On President’s Health: “If you think about it, it’s really impossible for me, or any of us, to ‘know’ anything at all”
Frustrated by journalists’ questions on the front steps of Walter Reed Medical Center this weekend, Dr. Sean Conley, physician to the President, has been less
Breaking: Coronavirus Gets Trump Diagnosis
After successfully infecting 34.4 million non-Trump hosts worldwide, the coronavirus has been now been contracted by Donald Trump. “Of course I knew it was a
Wow! These Parents are Solving Their Childcare Woes By Sending Their Children to Work in a Textile Factory
Chicago, IL It’s back to school time again, but with many schools moving to an online curriculum this year due to the Covid-19 Pandemic, parents
Convenient! This gym membership can only be canceled by carrier pigeon
I have to admit, I didn’t know the first thing about the process of acquiring homing pigeons from breeders, building them a loft, or training them to deliver tiny scrolls of paper. It was all a bit overwhelming.
GODDAMNIT! This oblivious ANGRY White man Just Started an #AllTargetsMatter Movement
My point is that ALL Targets matter. Everyone keeps talking about this ONE target that was looted, but the truth is that all of them are important, and I want to make sure that everyone knows that.
Woah! This Episode of Bar Rescue is Just Jon Taffer Screaming at Scientists to Make Vaccines Faster
In possibly the most heated episode of the hit Spike TV show Bar Rescue, tensions ran high as Jon Taffer berated a group of Pfizer
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